Justification of Time

When I became a stay at home mom I noticed something interesting happen.

People suddenly started asking what I do all day, and not all necessarily because they were interested.   I think that I can say with some certainty that they wanted to know how I was *wasting* my time, since, how hard can it be have the luxury of staying home all day and not having a 9-5 job?

When random people ask me this question with the intent to find out how unproductive I am, it irritates me.   I can’t stand that I have to justify the use of my time just because I don’t have a time card that needs to be punched in and and out of.

Honestly, those people wouldn’t really want to know what I do with my time.  I could tell them that every day is different, yet the same. I could tell them that I spend my days trying to get a real 15 minute, uninterrupted break.  Or I could talk about the routine in every day.   I could tell them that week days I have to wake up and feed my children and make sure they get to school on time.  I have to make or over-see the making of their lunches.  I have to make sure that I pick Garrett, Emma and Grace up at their appointed dismissal times (ALL DIFFERENT TIMES), if any of the children have after school activities, I have to get them there and home.  I have to make sure that they do their homework, make dinner and get them to bed at the appointed hour.   I could tell them that I also have to clean my house, do loads and loads and loads of laundry, run errands, grocery shop, play with the twins, make sure that the twins are still alive when Jeff gets home from work, and squeeze in time for me and my husband.

But I don’t.  I don’t want to hear about my day, and really, neither do they.

Instead I get irritated and run through my mind all the ways that I really am productive.

Until today.

It finally occurred to me that I don’t need to waste my precious time making a list in my head of all the things I do that really are not a waste of time.  I just need to remember one thing:

I grew and birthed 5 children in 5 years.

I think that is productivity at it’s best.  🙂

About Angie

Angie is a CRAFT dabbling, recipe making, WORD loving, sunshine hording, book DEVOURING, Mama to a lot! She's kind of in love with Instagram right now, so if you want her attention, go find here there. {smiling}

Comments

  1. 1
    Laurie Johnson says:

    I quite agree! next time you can ask how many miracles they perform at their “important” jobs:)

  2. 2

    Amen, sister!

    You should just tell these people that you do nothing but eat bon bons and watch soap operas. That’s what they want to hear any way. 😉
    .-= Jen´s last blog ..How a Dad makes Shorts Fit. =-.

  3. 3
    Andrea
    Twitter: Papermom
    says:

    I love your take on things…. sometimes when I am overwhelmed by raising our five kids…. I start to feel wacky and then I say HELLO…????
    ” I am raising five amazing kids…. what did you do today?” I love the days where we literally need to be in 5 different places at the same time…. Keep your bright attitude, it makes a difference!
    .-= Andrea´s last blog ..I am back! =-.

  4. 4
    alicia
    Twitter: projectalicia
    says:

    I actually think if you starated saying that to people it would shut them up right quick. Haha. You go girl.
    .-= alicia´s last blog ..Friday Flip Offs! =-.

  5. 5
    Heather of the EO
    Twitter: HeatheroftheEO
    says:

    Oh yes you did!

    And the truth of our days? Well, that truth needs no defense. We know how productive and unproductive (because we try but can’t get anything done) the endless repetitive sameness is 🙂
    .-= Heather of the EO´s last blog ..Two very good randoms =-.

  6. 6
    Susie's Homemade says:

    Damned straight!!

  7. 7
    kristin says:

    there is a great story that went around cyberspace a few years back about the husband who came home to a house/children looking like a small war occurred there and found his wife in bed reading a book, did you get it?
    Anyways, he asked (in alarm)what happened? and she said something along the lines of “I did nothing all day and this is what happened.” I loved it.
    Wish I could find it now.

  8. 8
    Megan (Best of Fates)
    Twitter: bestoffates
    says:

    Now that’s definitely an accomplishment!
    .-= Megan (Best of Fates)´s last blog ..Bacon & Other Loose Ends =-.

  9. 9
    Miranda says:

    Amen! I get that all the time, and I have a part-time job at the church! “What do I do all day? Think about how to annoy stoopid people like you who ask me this question!”

  10. 10

    Amen, sister! And besides, anything you choose to do with your time is a valid option…we don’t all have to be cogs in the machine all of the time.
    Hope you find some time for you. (=
    .-= Jo´s last blog ..100 FOLLOWERS GIVEAWAY! =-.

  11. 11
    S Club Mama
    Twitter: sclubmama
    says:

    I had a little girl (she’s 6 or 7) ask me what I do and I told her I stay home with my boys. She said, “so you don’t have a job?” um….well, not one that pays. *rolling eyes*
    .-= S Club Mama´s last blog ..failure or acceptance? =-.

  12. 12
    Rachel @ Mommy Needs a Vacation
    Twitter: RachelVoorhees
    says:

    You say it sister!!!! I get asked that question almost everyday and it is so irritating! You 5 in 5 years is a perfect answer when you are asked! 🙂
    .-= Rachel @ Mommy Needs a Vacation´s last blog ..The Great Baby Gear Purge =-.

  13. 13
    Laura
    Twitter: lauraalltwins
    says:

    I loved this post and could relate to every bit of it. You hit the nail on the head when you said it makes you start to justify it to yourself too. I also find I want to prove I am busy to my husband though he hasn’t asked me too. Something about society has got me feeling defensive!
    .-= Laura´s last blog ..Jacob’s Slideshow =-.

  14. 14
    Laurie M says:

    I agree! Nothing is more important than your kiddos! Good job!
    .-= Laurie M´s last blog ..Random Friday =-.

  15. 15

    I take my hat off to you. I tried staying home for one year and went absolutely insane. I couldn’t handle it. I went back to work. Everyone is different and that is great. I hate when people are judgemental about me working full time, so I would never presume to judge someone for staying home. It is a HARD job!
    .-= Margie´s last blog ..Does This Manuscript Make My Butt Look Big? =-.

  16. 16

    Amen to that! Staying at home is hard work, and I get so discouraged when others wonder what I do all day. Where to start! And you’re right, I start to justify it in my mind when I shouldn’t have to.
    .-= Liz´s last blog ..I’ll just make it myself then =-.

  17. 17
    Julie@my5monkeys
    Twitter: aprilmom00
    says:

    so true about not having a Real job–but considering you did give birth 5x in 5 years..Congrats
    .-= Julie@my5monkeys´s last blog ..Moaning Monday =-.

  18. 18
    Christopher (AKA: CaJoh) says:

    When my wife was at home and not working, she constantly would try to justify to herself that she spent her time well. She would normally tell me what she did during the day so that she could feel that she was being productive. I never asked her what she did and tried to praise anything that she did so that she did feel productive.
    .-= Christopher (AKA: CaJoh)´s last blog ..Happy Blogiversary Two Me =-.

  19. 19

    Agreed!!!! You shouldn’t have to justify anything to anyone. Being a mom of one, let alone five, is much harder than working a nine hour shift!!! You are a great mom!

  20. 20
    Krystyn
    Twitter: SeriousKrystyn
    says:

    That’s a perfectly fitting response.

    I’m about to do the SAHM thing for the summer and I’m quite certain I will get less done at home than at work…and it won’t be because I’m lounging around!
    .-= Krystyn´s last blog ..Mommy and Me Monday- The 14th Edition =-.

  21. 21
    Brandie
    Twitter: rudyrukus
    says:

    Amen to that! I laugh when husbands offer their wives to help me out because they are home all day. I work once a month. (Come on I am not a helpless mother just because I work once a month) I am home all day too and I feel bad for those wives. My husband knows better! haha

  22. 22
    jennyleite says:

    Nothing is truer 🙂 5 kids in 5 years is amazing!!

    I always joke that I have way more free time and get more things done when I am working (outsde the house)
    .-= jennyleite´s last blog ..The Poppies =-.

  23. 23
    Allison @ Alli 'n Son
    Twitter: Alli_n_Son
    says:

    I’m the same way – although you have me beat with 5 kids.

    I also hate the title “homemaker”. It sounds so insignificant. There needs to be a better title for what we do. Any ideas?
    .-= Allison @ Alli ‘n Son´s last undefined ..Response cached until Mon 24 @ 21:19 GMT (Refreshes in 60 Minutes) =-.

  24. 24

    I am a SAHM and I do not think that many people know what I do. They think I just sit at home and do nothing.. That is just wild. I am proud of what I do for sure.. I think we do a great job at home..

    Have an amazing Monday..

  25. 25

    And made it through with enough clean laundry to clothe those five children your sanity intact! Productivity indeed. =>
    .-= Stacia´s last blog ..I Think I Can =-.

  26. 26
    T Rex Mom says:

    Staying home with my kids is the toughest job I’ve ever had. And I hear you on breaks – I go days without 15 minutes of free time or even a shower by myself.

  27. 27
    Jennifer B says:

    Amen! I was and still partly am a stay at home mom, and I only had 1 kid. I can’t imagine 5! I think it’s great you are able to stay home with them. For me to stay home hurt us really bad money wise, but I couldn’t bare the thought of not raising my child. It was my choice and I will never justify myself to anyone. Neither should you.

  28. 28
    Amy @ Marvelous Mommy
    Twitter: mmommie
    says:

    That’s right!! I only have 1 daughter but still it’s a lot of work. Keeping this house clean is A LOT of work! It annoys me when people are ignorant too. My hubby knows better than to say “Well what did you do all day??” Those are fightin words in my book! lol
    .-= Amy @ Marvelous Mommy´s last blog ..Giraffes + Stuff Review and Giveaway =-.

  29. 29

    I am also a stay at home mom, I was lucky that my husband made enough money, that I could stay home and raise our three children. I had one woman that he worked with talk down to me because I did not have a job. She said well what do you do all day long! I told her that I lay on the couch and watched soap operas all day long and ate candy! My husband was laughing his head off, because he knows how hard that I work at home every day! Janey from Texas

  30. 30
    B
    Twitter: lifeinthebatcav
    says:

    Ha! My answer to people became “I had 3 kids in 3 years, what do you think I do all day?”. Make sure you are adding the sarcastic, nasty tone into that when you read it.

    The one person who has NEVER ever once asked me what I did all day? My husband. He knows who has the harder of the 2 jobs and he is grateful I’m willing to do mine. I’ve never once heard a complaint if the house is a wreck, there are no clean clothes or no dinner on the table.

    However, now that the kids are all going to be in school full time next year I’ll either need to have a spotless house or invent some good excuses!

    The ones who ask are jealous that they don’t have the opportunity to stay home as well. Pay no mind to them and don’t waste your energy on being irked or coming up with your list.
    .-= B´s last blog ..I’m not ready =-.

  31. 31
    Latree@Dandelion says:

    hahaha… i like how you see your productivity: 5 children in five years…
    I think being a staying at home mom is much harder than a working mom. really.
    .-= Latree@Dandelion´s last blog ..the schedule =-.

  32. 32
    Jenners says:

    This is a pet peeve of mine. I swear that people (my husband included) think if you are at home all day, you’re just kicking back and doing nothing. It drives me insane. And yes I take some times to blog … just like he takes some time to surf the web at work. We all take breaks. And people with “real” jobs don’t get asked this question I bet. Humph.

    We do not need to justify this!
    .-= Jenners´s last blog ..Casting A TV Movie of My Life =-.

  33. 33
    Lady Fi says:

    Five kids in as many years? Wow! You really have your hands full then. People just don’t realize that looking after kids is a lot of work!
    .-= Lady Fi´s last blog ..Butterfly house =-.

  34. 34
    Kristi {at} Live and Love...Out Loud
    Twitter: TweetingMama
    says:

    I’m with you. I get irritated when people ask me the same question as well. It’s as if I couldn’t possibly have enough to do with three school-age children, one infant and a husband to care for. I love your thinking. No more justifications here. Great post, Angie. Hope your week is off to a good start.

    Kristi, Live and Love…Out Loud
    @TweetingMama
    .-= Kristi {at} Live and Love…Out Loud´s last blog ..“OH NO HE DIDN’T!” Tuesday – Men Say Stupid Stuff Sometimes =-.

  35. 35
    Maureen
    Twitter: tattertots06
    says:

    You are one busy mama for sure! I find it’s hard enough juggling one toddler and every day life let alone 5 so kudos to you! 😀
    .-= Maureen´s last blog ..Dancing In The Rain =-.