It’s my pleasure to welcome to my blog for a guest post, one of the nicest blogger’s I know. Ginny Heikka is the author of more than just the words at My Cup To Yours. She’s also the author of FOUR children’s books, and writes for a few other publications as well. The joy she finds in motherhood always makes me smile.
As I write this, my daughter is playing Monopoly with a friend, and my son is in his room driving a remote control car around.
I just finished doing some writing and was wrapping up a few things on my computer when I looked at my calendar and saw that I have a school check-in day with my daughter at her middle school this week.
Middle school.
I know I’ve mentioned the fact that I can hardly believe she’s in sixth grade, but it seems like as the date gets closer, I can’t even think about it without getting choked up.
I’m not emotional about it because I’m sad.
I’m not sad.
I’m just… emotional.
It’s the same way I felt when I walked her into preschool, her tiny hand holding tightly onto mine, her thumb in her mouth because she was a little unsure.
I felt like this her first day of kindergarten too, as I hurried away after dropping her off, hiding my tears under my sunglasses, hoping nobody would notice that I was crying.
It’s not that I want her to stay young, and it’s not that I don’t want her to be away from home.
That’s not it.
It’s just that I’m amazed
and overwhelmed
and sentimental
about the fact that she used to be a tiny baby in my arms,
mostly sleeping or crying,
and now she’s on the brink of becoming a teenager,
then a woman.
In seven years, I’ll have raised a woman.
See? Here come the tears again.
“Mommy, we’re going outside,” she just called.
They must be done with Monopoly.
“Okay,” I say, masking the emotion in my voice.
I remember when she was younger and I used to have to go outside with her.
I remember when I’d bring a blanket out on the grass and let her crawl around and play.
I remember the time when she was two and ate a flower and I called poison control in a panic.
And the time she was four and finger-painted hand prints all over our white Labrador when I had gone inside to get the phone.
The memories…
they make me laugh and cry.
There are so many of them.
And I know there are more to come.
I know that.
It’s not like her going into middle school means my journey as a mom is over.
Really, in so many ways, it’s just beginning.
Maybe that’s what my emotion is about…
the changing season,
the new phase.
Endings and beginnings.
It’s just that I love her so much.
And with the school year starting in a week, and the fact that I know by now how fast the days, months, and years fly by,
I’m acutely aware of this time,
this moment,
this beautiful end of summer
with my little girl.
Are you entering a new season too? How old are your kids and what’s changing for them… and for you?
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About Angie
I am a mess with kindergarten starting for us Thursday. This is a tough time b/c I have to put her out there in the big world by herself and I won’t be there to help her. Your blog post is beautiful and brought new tears to my eyes. They grow up so fast.
It’s as if I wrote this. I just dropped my baby off at middle school this morning and heaven forbid a mama wants to snap a photo. Geesh! I’ve been so emotional and trying to figure out how to verbalize my thoughts and feelings, so thanks.
Oh what a lovely post. My daughter will be going into her second year of preschool and this time around I feel quite OK about it, knowing how she has grown in confidence and believing she will have a wonderful year ahead. On the last day of preschool in May I shed a few tears though, knowing that yet another milestone had been reached. Yes, those beginnings and endings are all so very bittersweet.
Every year is a change for us, new friends, new clothes and new teachers. But its always good
This was hard to read. I have 4 kids all in different stages in their lives and it’s just overwhelming sometimes…you want them to have all the experiences that you missed out on but want them to slow down just a bit and enjoy every minute of their lives. Great guest post!
Exactly. This is exactly what I’m feeling. You just wrote it perfectly. My Baby Girl started Kindergarten this week and I feel like a part of me is dying even though I know it isn’t. Like she is being ripped from my arms even though I know she isn’t. And these are exactly the reasons I feel this way.
Great post and one I can relate to in two ways. One I have a daughter just beginning the sixth grade this year and also one just beginning her senior year. It will be a huge change in the seasons of our lives come summer this next year.
Thanks for the reminder for taking time to spend with them now!
Love and Hugs ~ Kat
Oh Genny, that was beautifully written and spot on. I know that I am going to miss my girls terribly when they are grown and on their own, but part of me secretly can’t wait until I can turn one of their rooms into a craft room. 🙂
My kids are growing so fast i don’t know what to do. I try not to cry each year as I drop them off but I do this year I waited to get home but still. Luckily I still have a 3 year old at home to keep me company but I know she will gone soon too!
Thanks for the comments, everyone!
Today I drove my daughter to her middle school for the first day… and managed to keep a smile on my face and the tears inside. Until she waved, said, “Goodbye, Mommy. I love you,” then walked away.
Then I bawled the entire drive to the store. *sigh*
Angie, thanks so much for having me here today!
Thanks for the comments, everyone!
Today, I drove my daughter to her middle school for the first day… and managed to keep a smile on my face and the tears inside. Until she waved, said, “Goodbye, Mommy. I love you,” then walked away.
Then I bawled the entire drive to the store. *sigh*
Angie, thanks so much for having me here today!
I feel this way about my kids growing up, mixed emotions, happy for them and their new adventures, a little sad that they need you less and less.
Good luck to your middle schooler!
I so loved this. And I feel the same way: “I’m not sad…just amazed and overwhelmed and sentimental.” Exactly!
Thank you for sharing!
So beautiful Genny! It’s so hard to watch them grow isn’t it? I am like a big giant mess during the month of September! I can tell you have raised her well!
Beautiful post. 🙂
Bu
My kids are only 3.5 & 19 months but I after being home with them this summer (I’m a teacher), I am amazed at how much they are growing and changing already. Just last summer, I wore my lil one around with us while I chased two toddlers. Now, I have 2 KIDS – full blown KIDS, I tell ya!, and a very adventurous toddler who THINKS he’s a kid!
Preschool officially begins for them and my youngest moves up to the toddler room – big changes for them all and I head back to work, daydreaming of all the fun we had this summer and how blessed I am to have witnessed so much of them at this time.
Your reminder of how fast it goes gets me right there…
Yes! This year is a huge change for us! Three of my 5 kids will be going to new schools. My youngest goes to kindergarten, my 2nd goes to middle school, and my oldest will be starting high school! This is a big year!!
This is beautiful, I almost feel like my son is going to school for the first time. Which he won’t for another year, and that is only preschool. And yet, I’m still thinking about it, and how quickly these last couple of years have flown by.
Wow, you made me cry.
I’ve really just started with my kids in full-time school but next year my ‘baby’ (who IS still a baby, thank God!) will start pre-school at the tiny age of almost two. And after taking both of my boys, I can already feel the bittersweetness of it all.
Such a beautiful, heart-felt post. Thank you.