“Wednesday’s With Ken” – Guest Post

when angie asked if i wanted write a guest post, i knew exactly what i would write about.
in a way angie inspired this post
but then again maybe it was fear of
cancer,  definitely
…and friendship too

angie wrote this post back in february of this year.  she had run into a friend she had known growing up who was dying of cancer, but didnt say anything when she saw her.  angie was deeply upset by the way she handled the situation, so went home and wrote her friend a letter.
at the time, i felt like that post from angie was written just for me.
this is ken

two days after i took this photo, ken died.  it may well have been the last photo of him.  i don’t know.  all i know is that i’m glad i have it.

he had been sick for a while, but almost a month before this photo was taken (to the day), ken was given one month to live.  when i found out, it was literally paralyzed with fear.  i wanted to something, but what?

i couldn’t pick up the phone (too intrusive)  i couldn’t email (too impersonal).  so i wrote him a letter.

i wrote of all the things about him that make me smile.  i said that my letter was his invitation to call me, because i simply didn’t know what to do (or how to do it).

the next day he called.  he said he was so very touched by my letter and that he wanted me to come visit.

during his treatment he had developed a sweet tooth, with a penchant for anything lime and peppermint – so on wednesdays while my girls were at their singing lessons, i visited.

the first week i came with peppermint slice.
the next week i brought lime mousse

the following week i brought lime jelly.  he never ate that jelly, but i did get this pic.  that’s the tip of his thumb you can see at the bottom of the shot giving the thumbs up.

during his funeral i discovered that as well as being a pioneer in software sales back in the 80s (ie, he was ahead of his time), he was also an amateur boxer, had his helicopter pilot’s licence, and was an equestrian 3-day eventer.

all this in addition to being an all-round funny guy, great friend and loving husband and father to his 2 daughters, who at 18 and 20 are now without their father.

my first thought when i think about the girls, is that he won’t be able to walk them down the aisle, but it’s not just the big occasions where he will be missed.

he will simply be missed.

those weekly visits meant more to me than he will ever know, and i’m so glad i overcame my fear and did something.  i had angie and her friend guiding me.  i had my friend bernice in my ear too.  a relative of hers had once said (regarding the same situation) – “whatever you do, just don’t put it off”.

wise words indeed.

Sue of My Home Wellingtontown so kindly wrote this guest post for me.  I hope you’ll hop on over to her site and say hi.

Comments

  1. 3

    Kirsten says

    Truly a lovely post Sue and a good reminder to all of us to be brave (so hard to do), speak up and act on our desires to do good. I love that you got pictures with him each week!

  2. 4

    says

    It can be so hard to go face to face with death. What a great friend you are to go at it head on. I am sure it made so much impact on Ken’s final days. Beautiful post.
    .-= jennyleite´s last blog ..The Poppies =-.

  3. 7

    says

    What an amazing, touching post. It’s so easy to freeze up, to feel helpless in the face of death, and I hope I remember your story. I hope I remember to not say nothing out of fear of saying the wrong thing, and to reach out the way you did for Ken.
    Thank you so much for sharing this. I know you inspired me, and I’m sure I’m not the only one your words have made an impact on.
    .-= Crystal @ Semi-Crunchy Mama´s last blog ..{this moment} =-.

  4. 8

    says

    Wow, this hit me right in the gut. I think what I’ll take with me most from your post is Ken’s zeal for life, evident in all the things he accomplished in his short time here along with his sweet tooth right up to the end. We should all be so prescient as to live our lives with joy, as if each day could be our last. Because one day, it will be.
    .-= Stacia´s last blog ..Five for Ten: Lust =-.

  5. 14

    says

    Oh my – what a wonderful smile he had. And it was there because of your kindness and friendship. In a world where grand gestures are usually the ones that are rewarded, I’m afraid we’re losing the art of simply making a difference to one soul.

    Thank you for the wonderful reminder. I’m so very sorry for the loss of your friend.
    .-= Ash´s last blog ..Ok, who brought the tainted potato salad to the last potluck? =-.

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