I’ve been preparing myself for years for the day when all of my children would be in school. I knew that the day would inevitably come; I loosely dreamed about the things I would be able to do with my time. Like laying in bed all day. Sleeping. Or laying in bed all day. Reading. Or shopping. Without 5 children to keep track of……so many lazy dreams.
I’ve also had a not so lazy dream. I’ve wanted to go to graduate school and get a Master’s Degree in something I’m interested in. My dream has been to get my graduate degree NOT for job marketability or opportunity, but for the sense of accomplishment and mental challenge that it would bring.
Suddenly, my life has changed. I’m living those days that I had envisioned for years, only it’s not quite how I thought it would be.
For one, I did not have a party upon sending all of my children to school like I thought I would. Instead I cried. Much more than I’d like to admit.
Secondly, I now have an internal alarm clock that wakes me up at 5 or 6 am and certainly doesn’t allow me to sleep in, much less sleep the day away. I just can’t. do. it.
Thirdly, I find myself not particularly interested in lazy pursuits. I have enjoyed the manicure and pedicure I’ve indulged in, but really, I suddenly find all kinds of things that I want and need to do……
Like, researching graduate schools and trying to justify the use of some pretty hefty sums of money for a degree that I only want……because.
Do I really just want my Master’s Degree so that I can say I have one? Pretty much.
Of course, I also want the knowledge that it will certainly bring, but is my want really justifiable? The time I would need to study would have to come from somewhere, which would impact my family at some level, and then there’s the monetary aspect. Jeff and I have FIVE children to educate. Is my higher education worth it when that money could be used to educate one of them?
I think so. Despite a million reasons that I’ve come up with that point in the other direction.
So, here I am.
Busier than ever. Just trying to navigate my way through this new phase of life…..and hopefully make the right decisions.
And lastly, my good friend MamaKat wrote a post about internet/blog safety a few days ago that left rocks in my stomach. You won’t want to miss it. For real.