Wordful Wednesday – Learning Hard Life Lessons

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I wasn’t going to blog about this.  Now that my children are getting older, I’ve become more aware of what I write about.  I  wouldn’t want my kids to be embarrassed or upset about something I write about them, so I’ve tried to be sensitive to that.  I just hope that one day if they read this they’ll see that I wrote about this not to draw attention to the fact that one child received and award and one didn’t, but because the topic is important to me.

Last week I watched one of my twins learn a hard life lesson and it hurt.  It hurt him and it hurt me because I didn’t like seeing him sad.

One of the twins got an award at school and the other one didn’t.  Since I was invited to the award ceremony, I was aware that the twin that was not being honored would realize eventually that well, he didn’t get honored.  That’s something that every kid realizes and has to get over.  It’s a life lesson, right?  Not everyone gets awards.  That’s just the way it is.  It’s just harder when your identical twin brother gets an award and you don’t.  And your parent is there, but not for you.

I think it was a particularly confusing time because he was happy for his brother, but wanted an award for himself as well and didn’t quite know how to react.  So, when I saw him after the assembly his eyes were watery and his face was sort of flushed and he didn’t want to talk to me.  It made me want to cry.  But, what do you do?  It’s life.  Maybe next time he’ll earn an award and if he doesn’t, then maybe the time after that.

His dad on the other hand didn’t look at it quite the same way.  He fashioned and gave him a special award because learning this life lesson doesn’t need to be so painful.

And somehow, it ended up being not so bad.  {smiling}

Have your kids had to learn any hard life lessons lately?

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Comments

  1. 6

    says

    Oh my goodness. I don’t know how you do it. How does your heart not break every single time one of your kids doesn’t get picked or awarded or win? Bravo to your husband for thinking of that ribbon. Little Man looks so proud!

  2. 11

    says

    Your boys are sooooo handsome! My heart ached for your your son while reading this, but I tend to agree with you…it’s a life lesson, children have to learn to handle disappointments and all the crummy feelings that come with them.

  3. 12

    says

    Awwwww! It’s hard as a mom to watch your kids learn those life lessons. I think it’s great your hubby made an award for the other twin, because that twin connection would make it even harder for one to be left out. :)

  4. 13

    says

    It is hard but better for them to learn the lessons now than when they are older. I mean, his boss isn’t going to give him an award for being 2nd best at the job. For me, the best thing would be to help him with tools so that he can win next year.

  5. 14

    says

    My oldest was left out of an art competition recently b/c she took too long to complete the assignment. Although she caused the exclusion, it hurt b/c she’s used to being included, especially relating to art. The teacher could have still submitted her work, although it was late, but she took this time to make a statement: turn it in on time or else. Worse was that her drawing was, even according to her teacher, the best by far and it hurt her teacher to not include it b/c it would have certainly won an award. She was so sad. I was sad for her b/c I try to be objective about her drawings, I do, but damn, this one was GOOD! But. I appreciate that she had to lose this opportunity (and see a friend in her class win instead) to maybe make her more aware of deadlines. Life lessons suck sometimes.

    In an uncreepy way (I hope) I COULD STARE AT YOUR BOYS ALL DAY THEY ARE SO DANG CUTE. Will all four of them wind up being wonderful picture takers like you, sheesh! I love that your husband did precisely what I was thinking before I got to that part.

  6. 15

    says

    They are seperate people and sometimes…well for me anyways…we forget that.
    Your husband is so awesome for doing what he did.
    He’s a keeper.

  7. 16

    says

    Your boys are so adorable! That is such a hard lesson, and one we all can relate too. And it’s so hard to watch your kids learn it. It was great that both boys ended up feeling special for a time and it lessened the blow.

  8. 17

    says

    Your husband rocks, huh?! I think those would be super tough lessons with twins. I have twin nieces who are just under 2 and I know it kills my brother and his wife to watch one of the girls advance much more quickly than the other. And now I’m really glad I’m a “one and done” girl ;)

  9. 20

    says

    Ugh! I still remember being at a twins club party as a kid and one kid got an award that his twin did not. As a singleton I had no idea what he was blubbering about. But now as a mom of twins I SO get this. And it’s not just between twins. It’s between all the siblings!
    I LOVE that your husband did that for him. And the smile is priceless!

  10. 21

    says

    Oh man. That’s tough. Why do children have to learn such hard lessons at such a young age. They have their whole lives to experience heartache and disappointment and unfairness. At least, Dad made it all better. Save they award for Dad to wear too for being the best Dad ever.

    When my oldest daughter was younger, she was very shy and constantly overlooked because of her quiet nature. She never received a citizenship award and it always bothered me.

  11. 22

    says

    Oh wow…that’s got to be so rough and with him trying to be a big boy and not cry…made me feel for him even more.

    Kudos to your hubby for that big blue ribbon!!!

  12. 23

    says

    So hard when they are that young and can’t really understand.

    Oh and when you figure out the secret of blogging about older children please let me know! I always feel like I am walking a fine line. :)

  13. 25

    kristin says

    Love what Jeff did.

    I gues this means the teacher can actually tell them apart? That’s good — right?

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