Justification of Time

When I became a stay at home mom I noticed something interesting happen.

People suddenly started asking what I do all day, and not all necessarily because they were interested.   I think that I can say with some certainty that they wanted to know how I was *wasting* my time, since, how hard can it be have the luxury of staying home all day and not having a 9-5 job?

When random people ask me this question with the intent to find out how unproductive I am, it irritates me.   I can’t stand that I have to justify the use of my time just because I don’t have a time card that needs to be punched in and and out of.

Honestly, those people wouldn’t really want to know what I do with my time.  I could tell them that every day is different, yet the same. I could tell them that I spend my days trying to get a real 15 minute, uninterrupted break.  Or I could talk about the routine in every day.   I could tell them that week days I have to wake up and feed my children and make sure they get to school on time.  I have to make or over-see the making of their lunches.  I have to make sure that I pick Garrett, Emma and Grace up at their appointed dismissal times (ALL DIFFERENT TIMES), if any of the children have after school activities, I have to get them there and home.  I have to make sure that they do their homework, make dinner and get them to bed at the appointed hour.   I could tell them that I also have to clean my house, do loads and loads and loads of laundry, run errands, grocery shop, play with the twins, make sure that the twins are still alive when Jeff gets home from work, and squeeze in time for me and my husband.

But I don’t.  I don’t want to hear about my day, and really, neither do they.

Instead I get irritated and run through my mind all the ways that I really am productive.

Until today.

It finally occurred to me that I don’t need to waste my precious time making a list in my head of all the things I do that really are not a waste of time.  I just need to remember one thing:

I grew and birthed 5 children in 5 years.

I think that is productivity at it’s best.  🙂

Comments

  1. 1

    Laurie Johnson says

    I quite agree! next time you can ask how many miracles they perform at their “important” jobs:)

  2. 3

    says

    I love your take on things…. sometimes when I am overwhelmed by raising our five kids…. I start to feel wacky and then I say HELLO…????
    ” I am raising five amazing kids…. what did you do today?” I love the days where we literally need to be in 5 different places at the same time…. Keep your bright attitude, it makes a difference!
    .-= Andrea´s last blog ..I am back! =-.

  3. 7

    says

    there is a great story that went around cyberspace a few years back about the husband who came home to a house/children looking like a small war occurred there and found his wife in bed reading a book, did you get it?
    Anyways, he asked (in alarm)what happened? and she said something along the lines of “I did nothing all day and this is what happened.” I loved it.
    Wish I could find it now.

  4. 9

    says

    Amen! I get that all the time, and I have a part-time job at the church! “What do I do all day? Think about how to annoy stoopid people like you who ask me this question!”

  5. 10

    says

    Amen, sister! And besides, anything you choose to do with your time is a valid option…we don’t all have to be cogs in the machine all of the time.
    Hope you find some time for you. (=
    .-= Jo´s last blog ..100 FOLLOWERS GIVEAWAY! =-.

  6. 29

    says

    I loved this post and could relate to every bit of it. You hit the nail on the head when you said it makes you start to justify it to yourself too. I also find I want to prove I am busy to my husband though he hasn’t asked me too. Something about society has got me feeling defensive!
    .-= Laura´s last blog ..Jacob’s Slideshow =-.

  7. 31

    says

    I take my hat off to you. I tried staying home for one year and went absolutely insane. I couldn’t handle it. I went back to work. Everyone is different and that is great. I hate when people are judgemental about me working full time, so I would never presume to judge someone for staying home. It is a HARD job!
    .-= Margie´s last blog ..Does This Manuscript Make My Butt Look Big? =-.

  8. 49

    says

    When my wife was at home and not working, she constantly would try to justify to herself that she spent her time well. She would normally tell me what she did during the day so that she could feel that she was being productive. I never asked her what she did and tried to praise anything that she did so that she did feel productive.
    .-= Christopher (AKA: CaJoh)´s last blog ..Happy Blogiversary Two Me =-.

  9. 50

    Mindie says

    Agreed!!!! You shouldn’t have to justify anything to anyone. Being a mom of one, let alone five, is much harder than working a nine hour shift!!! You are a great mom!

  10. 52

    says

    Amen to that! I laugh when husbands offer their wives to help me out because they are home all day. I work once a month. (Come on I am not a helpless mother just because I work once a month) I am home all day too and I feel bad for those wives. My husband knows better! haha

  11. 53

    says

    Nothing is truer 🙂 5 kids in 5 years is amazing!!

    I always joke that I have way more free time and get more things done when I am working (outsde the house)
    .-= jennyleite´s last blog ..The Poppies =-.

  12. 55

    amy says

    I am a SAHM and I do not think that many people know what I do. They think I just sit at home and do nothing.. That is just wild. I am proud of what I do for sure.. I think we do a great job at home..

    Have an amazing Monday..

  13. 57

    says

    Staying home with my kids is the toughest job I’ve ever had. And I hear you on breaks – I go days without 15 minutes of free time or even a shower by myself.

  14. 58

    Jennifer B says

    Amen! I was and still partly am a stay at home mom, and I only had 1 kid. I can’t imagine 5! I think it’s great you are able to stay home with them. For me to stay home hurt us really bad money wise, but I couldn’t bare the thought of not raising my child. It was my choice and I will never justify myself to anyone. Neither should you.

  15. 60

    janey says

    I am also a stay at home mom, I was lucky that my husband made enough money, that I could stay home and raise our three children. I had one woman that he worked with talk down to me because I did not have a job. She said well what do you do all day long! I told her that I lay on the couch and watched soap operas all day long and ate candy! My husband was laughing his head off, because he knows how hard that I work at home every day! Janey from Texas

  16. 61

    says

    Ha! My answer to people became “I had 3 kids in 3 years, what do you think I do all day?”. Make sure you are adding the sarcastic, nasty tone into that when you read it.

    The one person who has NEVER ever once asked me what I did all day? My husband. He knows who has the harder of the 2 jobs and he is grateful I’m willing to do mine. I’ve never once heard a complaint if the house is a wreck, there are no clean clothes or no dinner on the table.

    However, now that the kids are all going to be in school full time next year I’ll either need to have a spotless house or invent some good excuses!

    The ones who ask are jealous that they don’t have the opportunity to stay home as well. Pay no mind to them and don’t waste your energy on being irked or coming up with your list.
    .-= B´s last blog ..I’m not ready =-.

  17. 63

    says

    This is a pet peeve of mine. I swear that people (my husband included) think if you are at home all day, you’re just kicking back and doing nothing. It drives me insane. And yes I take some times to blog … just like he takes some time to surf the web at work. We all take breaks. And people with “real” jobs don’t get asked this question I bet. Humph.

    We do not need to justify this!
    .-= Jenners´s last blog ..Casting A TV Movie of My Life =-.

  18. 65

    says

    I’m with you. I get irritated when people ask me the same question as well. It’s as if I couldn’t possibly have enough to do with three school-age children, one infant and a husband to care for. I love your thinking. No more justifications here. Great post, Angie. Hope your week is off to a good start.

    Kristi, Live and Love…Out Loud
    @TweetingMama
    .-= Kristi {at} Live and Love…Out Loud´s last blog ..“OH NO HE DIDN’T!” Tuesday – Men Say Stupid Stuff Sometimes =-.

  19. 66

    says

    You are one busy mama for sure! I find it’s hard enough juggling one toddler and every day life let alone 5 so kudos to you! 😀
    .-= Maureen´s last blog ..Dancing In The Rain =-.

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