In Honor of my Babies:

My babies are turning 5 tomorrow.

FIVE.

I don’t know why, but I can’t wrap my brain around this fact.

It can’t possibly be.

Yet it is.

So, in honor of my little babies, I give you this:  {the first kiss}

Our first kiss was unexpected.
It was surreal.
It was one of the most beautiful feelings I had ever experienced.

You might think that this was my first baby. But it wasn’t. My most memorable first kiss belonged to my last born, my 5th child. I remember it most vividly because I didn’t take it for granted like I did with my first three.

Emotionally, I was a different person than I had been before, and I’d realized that getting pregnant doesn’t guarantee a healthy baby 9 months later. It was different because I didn’t actually believe that my babies had been delivered, alive, until that moment.

As I lay on the operating table getting put back together, I heard their cries, but they were in unison so I thought something terrible had happened to my last, my John. I know why I thought John must be the silent one but I was wrong, so wrong.

He was the “healthy” one…..as healthy as a 33 weeker can be, and he was the first to be brought to me. Before the surgery I had resigned myself to not being able to touch or hold my babies, so it was an unexpected gift, a granting of something I can’t define when the neonatalogist brought me John. I kissed him and knew that my life had changed forever. He was itty bitty. So tiny, yet seemed so robust. For the first time in months I felt a real glimmer of hope. I felt sure that I would actually bring my boys home, despite the odds.

When Jacob was brought to me the kiss was different. It was a kiss of understanding. A kiss that seemed to know that he was ill and would have a harder road to travel than his brother.

But John’s kiss…….that was the kiss that told me everything would be alright, that our lives had been changed forever.

I’m thankful for that first kiss, a precious gift I’ll always hold dear.

You can read more about the journey to get them here, here.

I’m thankful for my babies.  Oh, so thankful.  Even if they are growing up way too quickly on me.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BOYS!

Comments

  1. 8

    says

    They look like such whipper snappers you’d never even know how hard it was at first. Unless you are a classic trained blogger stalk like myself, and then you do! So happy to see your boys doing so well! Happy birthday to all of you!

  2. 9

    says

    Time just goes by so quickly. Every birthday is certainly a treasure. A celebration of life but also that you’ve made it this far and can keep pressing on!

    Happy birthday to those sweet little guys.

  3. 16

    says

    Wonderful heart-felt writing, great tribute to your boys. You are so blessed and life is indeed precious! I enjoyed reading your post, thank you.

  4. 37

    says

    Wow Angie….FIVE!!! What a fantastic road, you had me in tears reading your post, reminded me about my own almost 33 weeker that was born, and I only had ONE!

    Phew! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

  5. 41

    says

    Oh this post made me tear up. I remember those NICU days, the moment of twin birth, and then the wonder of their health, the anticipation of them coming home….

    Happy Thanksgiving!

  6. 43

    says

    Oh Angie! Tears over here (now on the East Coast) my friend….tears of knowing exactly how you feel. Tears of joy for Jacob & John’s healthy,happy lives. What a journey! I’m so grateful to know you. You are a remarkable woman and mother. I’m so grateful this Thanksgiving that I can call you my friend. What on earth would I have done without your story and support? Thank you for sharing it! It carried me through and will no doubt carry other Momo Mom’s through. You are remarkable. I dread and look forward to the day that my girls are five. Tears I tell ya! Tears!

  7. 45

    says

    Amazing isn’t it!?! I can’t even imagine what that delivery was like for you. How scary to be carrying babies for so long and really have no idea whether or not they’re going to survive. I love how full of life they are now. Such cuties!

  8. 48

    says

    The organization goes on to explain that the preliminary competition is scored
    as follows:. In a similar situation when it came out that a homosexual prostitution ring was being run from Democrat Congressman Barney Franks home there
    was no outcry. “But they alone can’t solve a problem so widespread that 1 in 5 kids who use the Internet are believed to have been approached by a predator.

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