Today I fully expect to spend the day wrapped in warm fuzzies. I plan on memorializing in my mind a moment that will sadly never come again in the exact same way, but one that literally made my heart swell with gratitude. I appreciate that my mind has a built in projector that can do more than just rewind. It has the capacity to replay certain scenes in any order at almost any time I want to recall them. I just wish the detail was better. I wish that for the really good ones I felt exactly the same way I did when they happened.
I never want to forget how I felt last night when Jacob said without being prompted, “I love mommy. I love mommy” when I was putting him to bed. All of my children have had a first time telling me that they love me, but somehow I let the moment pass. I didn’t take the time to revel in the warmth and strength it should have given me. I’m not going to let that happen this time….or next time when John says it for the first time. I’m a fool for not recognizing “one of those moments” the first three times. So, today I’m going to replay and replay that scene, and my favorite scenes from my other children’s lives and enjoy the peace and comfort those memories bring.