Comments on: Cancer Sucks

By: debi9kids

debi9kids — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 07:03:45 +0000

Oh Angie! I don’t think you are alone at all. Even a year after Tuesday’s passing, I struggle with the right words when I see or talk to Jess. I don’t know what to say. Do I mention Tuesday? Do I tell Jess I miss her too? Does she want me to be just “normal”?
I don’t think there is any right way to be. I think that just by being a friend and expressing your love… it’s all they need and if we stumble on the words, our friends forgive.

(((HUGS)))

By: Happily Retired Gal

Happily Retired Gal — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 19:36:03 +0000

Reading your post brings up so many memories … mostly of my dad’s death to cancer in February of 1976 … just two months after he realized and told me he was sick. I had trouble accepting the fact but after watching him waste away I was able to talk with him honestly before he passed and I’m glad I did. Currently I have a friend dying of cancer … we thought we’d lose her two years ago but somehow she’s managed to hang on. We spent lots of time together and talk honestly with one another … taking things day by day … but you’re so right. Cancer sucks!
Hugs and blessings,

By: Jenners

Jenners — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 02:32:29 +0000

I truly feel you cannot go wrong when you speak from your heart. Hugs.

By: Melissa

Melissa — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 21:19:56 +0000

I’ve felt the same way… Not sure how to react? Do they want to talk about it? Or are they sick of talking about it? It’s so hard… We’ve had a ton of people in our ward getting cancer it’s just crazy!

By: Run DMT

Run DMT — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 16:54:27 +0000

I think it’s only natural to not know what to say or how to deal with death. Whenever I happen to chance upon an old friend or acquaintance, I think of it as a sign from God that this person needs me and somehow I need them too. This is how you should view this moment. This friend needed to know that she is loved and that people care about her. You needed to face your fear about death and be there for her.

Even though you only shared a small snippet of your letter, I’m sure your words were very comforting to your friend. Having read many of your posts here, I can only assume that to be true. You are a wonderful person and God loves you for it. God bless. xox

By: Live.Love.Eat

Live.Love.Eat — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 13:18:09 +0000

Oh goodness, I am so sorry. I feel terrible and I find myself praying each night to God for just people in general who are dealing with and dying of cancer. I have been fortunate so far in that I don’t know anyone personally going through it but feel like it’s only a matter of time. That scares me.

You did the right thing.

By: wendy

wendy — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 06:32:10 +0000

I’ll echo the same sentiment that cancer does indeed suck.

I can appreciate that you wanted to “pretend” that all was well and good because I understand that you were unsure of what exactly to say or to avoid getting emotional, saying the wrong thing, etc.

Having personally fought the cancer battle, I would have to say that your friend probably truly loved your letter. I know I always appreciated when someone reached out to see how I was doing, even if it was via letter or email. Yes, I wanted everything to “seem” normal but I knew that it was not and I did want others to recognize that too. Self-indulgent, maybe, but screw it, I was fighting the hardest battle of my life!

Don’t beat yourself up over it.

By: Erin

Erin — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 05:59:23 +0000

Oh Angie, how awful! I hate Cancer too, and since I suffer from it and every time I think it’s over…it’s strikes again. And you know, I never know what I even want people to say…or what to say to others I know going through what I am….
And all I ever ask or offer to others is strength….the strength to endure what you need to, I ask to love, for each and every person to always remember the love in their hearts and to pass it on each and every day as if it were your last. Laugh….laughter really is the best medicine, despite the world and it’s short comings! And I always think of the best and most precious memories I have of a person, so that if God forbid, cancer does take them, I can pass on that memory so that they may live on forever through me and everyone I tell!

By: Allison

Allison — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 05:12:18 +0000

Honestly, I would have acted exactly the same. I just don’t know what to do or say in situations like this. I think that you did the best you could, and sending the heartfelt letter was the right thing to do. Your friend knows that you love her and are thinking about her, even if you couldn’t find the words to tell her. That’s the most important part.

By: Kelly Deneen

Kelly Deneen — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 02:45:48 +0000

Oh, Angie. I have tears in my eyes just reading your post! That is so horrific and sad. I think it’s wonderful that you sent her that letter — I’m sure she appreciated it. It is hard to feel so helpless. *hugs*